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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 5:39 am 
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Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:13 am
Posts: 3760
Location: PERTH WESTERN AUSTRALIA
I think we all need a laugh,hope to get a chuckle outa you too Steve-Mate.
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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2015 1:19 am 
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Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:13 am
Posts: 3760
Location: PERTH WESTERN AUSTRALIA
A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

The officer says, ' I clocked you at 120 km/h, sir.'

The driver says, 'Christ, officer I had it on cruise control at 100, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks,'WHY DON'T You shut up?

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'

'Only when he's pissed.' Image


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 3:27 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 12:53 am
Posts: 1430
Location: Norco, CA
THE $50 LESSON

I recently asked my neighbors' little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up.

She said she wanted to be President someday.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing next to her, so I asked her, 'If you
were President, what would be the first thing you would do?'

She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'

Her parents beamed with pride.

'Wow...what a worthy goal!' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that! You can come to my house, mow the lawn, pull weeds, sweep my yard and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out and you
can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

She thought that over for a few seconds then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, ' Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work himself and you just pay him the $50? '

I responded, 'Welcome to the Republican Party!'

Her parents still aren't speaking to me…


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2015 9:42 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:13 am
Posts: 3760
Location: PERTH WESTERN AUSTRALIA
A man went to the doctor 's office to ask for a triple dosage of Viagra.
Doctor: I can’t give you a triple dose.
Man: Why not?
Doctor: Because it's not safe.
Man: But I need it really bad.
Doctor: Well, why do you need it so badly?
Man: My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday, my ex-wife will be here on Saturday and my wife is coming home on Sunday.
can't you see? I've got to have a triple dose.
The doctor finally relented.
Doctor: All right, I'll give it to you, but you have to come in Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.
On Monday afternoon the man dragged himself into the doctor’s office..his right arm in a sling.
Doctor: Good God! What happened to you?
Man: No one showed up. Image


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2015 9:08 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 22, 2006 9:15 am
Posts: 793
Location: Central Coast, N.S.W, Australia
Book Report-Too funny!!!

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.

One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic: Cost - $29.99
Clinton : Cost - $29.99


Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton : Over 3 hours to read


Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.


Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.


Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton : Ditto for Bill


Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton : Ditto for Monica.


Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.


Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton : Monica is forced to return her gifts.


Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton : Clinton doesn't remember anything.


Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton : Monica.. Ooh, let's not go there, either.


Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton : Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2015 9:18 am 
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Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:13 am
Posts: 3760
Location: PERTH WESTERN AUSTRALIA
Yeah but Hillary is now enjoying her own cigar? Image


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2015 6:31 am 
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Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:13 am
Posts: 3760
Location: PERTH WESTERN AUSTRALIA
It all makes sense now! :-)
And THEY say "A way to man's heart is thru his stomach?" :-)



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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2015 11:54 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 22, 2006 9:15 am
Posts: 793
Location: Central Coast, N.S.W, Australia
Nipples

Here's to
NIPPLES
without them
Titties would be
POINTLESS

:-)


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2015 8:08 am 
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Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:13 am
Posts: 3760
Location: PERTH WESTERN AUSTRALIA
Watch this to the end,very funny! :-)



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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2015 10:55 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 15, 2003 2:40 pm
Posts: 22512
Location: Chicago
http://southpark.cc.com/clips/254813/brub-brrub-brrrrub

Brub Brrub Brrrrub!

The boys try to get the meaning of the word "fag" changed from homosexual to motorcycle riders.


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2015 11:53 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 12:47 am
Posts: 174
hoser wrote:
http://southpark.cc.com/clips/254813/brub-brrub-brrrrub

Brub Brrub Brrrrub!

The boys try to get the meaning of the word "fag" changed from homosexual to motorcycle riders.


I would bet the almost one million motorcycle riders expected at Sturgis this year would love for you to come and ask their sexual orientation... Lol. I can only vouch for myself, that ain't no guy on the back of mine!!


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2015 2:42 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 2:10 am
Posts: 4678
Location: Carson City NV
What, no Hardley Davison? That looks like a nice Victory.

Where's your brain bucket?

Rand


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2015 7:13 am 
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Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 12:47 am
Posts: 174
Randman wrote:
What, no Hardley Davison? That looks like a nice Victory.

Where's your brain bucket?

Rand


Yep, Victory, the other American motorcycle company!! We are forced to wear lids here in Canada, going to SD(and other states) allows me to enjoy certain freedoms some people may take for granted. It's a while on vacation thing only. I also can't drive my atv's on public roads, something I see a lot of down there. Gotta be careful suggesting some one give up their free will, because someone with power will think it's a good idea, make it a law, and there's no going back....


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2015 5:50 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 15, 2003 2:40 pm
Posts: 22512
Location: Chicago
Trailblazer wrote:
hoser wrote:
http://southpark.cc.com/clips/254813/brub-brrub-brrrrub

Brub Brrub Brrrrub!

The boys try to get the meaning of the word "fag" changed from homosexual to motorcycle riders.


I would bet the almost one million motorcycle riders expected at Sturgis this year would love for you to come and ask their sexual orientation... Lol. I can only vouch for myself, that ain't no guy on the back of mine!!



You need to watch the full episode they are not calling them gay because they think they are homosexuals they are calling them gay because they remove the mufflers to make them really loud so people will look at them (hey look at me I spent too much on my bike and my mommy didn't hold me enough when I was a baby - the attention getting bullshit) they are also making fun of their Halloween costumes MOST bikers put on before they go riding, REAL bikers wear the biker garb 24/7 they are poking fun at the same thing I have been saying for 40 years.

How many miles you put on your bike during your ownership this is the first question I like to ask the biker queers or the want2B bikers as I call them.

My father inlaw has owned 2 Harleys put over 65,000 miles on each one, quit riding when his health started to fail him, sold his Harley gave away all his Halloween costumes since he no longer owns a bike I wear a few of the shirts for work since they are quality made authentic HD shirts. He kept his Corporate HD leather jacked he is the only NON HD executive employee that has ever received one if these jackets they are some kind of special limited editions jackets only given to a select few HD employees, it was given to him as a bonus for a article he wrote for HD he was also at the time the only NON HD staff writer to write for their corporate news letter. They sent the jacket to him like 3 months later out of the blue with a nice thank you letter.

I know a bunch of bikers they provide endless entertainment for me some are real bikers some are just the want to be bikers that put on their Halloween costumes a few times a year and trailer their bike to Sturgis every other year think they are a biker because they put 400 miles on their bike a season. Father in law has been to Sturgis about 30 times and has only trailerd his Harley home from Sturgis ONE time actually I drove out their and picked him and his bike and trailered it back for him after he had a accident and totaled it and broke his neck and leg. He was about 85 miles West of Sturgis when he had the accident was on a 3000 mile bike trip with his friends.

Watch the full episode and you will understand and will also know many people who ride bikes who are the same, south park didnt dedicate a whole episode to the subject for nothing lmao.


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2015 7:22 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 15, 2003 2:40 pm
Posts: 22512
Location: Chicago
Randman wrote:

Where's your brain bucket?

Rand


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A3b_MRimbk


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2015 7:34 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 15, 2003 2:40 pm
Posts: 22512
Location: Chicago


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2015 9:09 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 13, 2013 4:28 pm
Posts: 887
hoser wrote:


Lmfao!
It's extra funny because it's the truth.

I will admit that I do have a Harley t-shirt. It was given too me and it's a nice shirt. I've had it a long time. If I saw some at a garage sale I'd buy them up but no way I'm paying the $50 or whatever they cost at the store.


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2016 4:47 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:13 am
Posts: 3760
Location: PERTH WESTERN AUSTRALIA
I bought a new Boomerang the other day...trouble is now I can't seem to throw the ol one away? Image


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Thu Nov 17, 2016 12:46 am 
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Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:13 am
Posts: 3760
Location: PERTH WESTERN AUSTRALIA
50% of marriages end in divorce. :shock:
100% of racecar/buggy part deliveries end in sheer happiness! :-)


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 1:26 am 
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Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:13 am
Posts: 3760
Location: PERTH WESTERN AUSTRALIA
How's your fridge? :-)

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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 4:45 am 
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Joined: Sun Sep 19, 2010 1:19 am
Posts: 714
A little muddy.


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 Post subject: Re: Laugh In!
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 9:40 am 
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Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:13 am
Posts: 3760
Location: PERTH WESTERN AUSTRALIA
Be careful with your memory foam. :-)



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